To Friends Who Have Reached Out to Me Since Mr. George Floyd Was Killed

Author's snapshot of graffiti art on an otherwise unremarkable sidewalk.

Friends of diverse colors, genders and generations have written to say: 

• “I know you’re not OK, but I hope you’re doing OK” 
• “Hoping you are holding up ok <3”
• “Hey mama, wanted to let you know I’ve been thinking about you. With everything going on…socially/politically, I wanted to make sure you were doing OK.”
• [Referring to my husband and me:] “You guys stay safe in the midst of all this drama!”

​Thanks, dear Friend. I am not okay. Nor am I safe. And…
 
While I believe that your gesture is made from a place of genuine care, I have lacked the will to respond. What I trust you intend as a warm embrace feels like a heavy yolk upon me, compounded with each and every, additional text.

• “How have you been, friend?” [Received via Facebook Messenger after 2 years of not-unfriendly silence] 
• “This ‘Karen’ article is interesting and brings me so much sorrow and frustration at the gumption and presumptions of so many, including myself.”
• “Fwd: [Link] ‘Liberate Meditation App for Black, Indigenous and People of Color’”
• “This is a must watch [Link] ‘Watch “George Floyd, Minneapolis Protests, Ahmaud Arbery & Amy Cooper” The Daily Social Distancing Show’”

 
More than once, the impact on me has felt as though I am being summoned as nursemaid to tend to your reaction to “recent events.” I, too, am short of breath…and feeling my way to an impossible balance between how much white noise I allow myself to take in, and how much suffering I attempt to unapologetically tune out.

• “Filled with rage. Trying to process it in a healthy way. Thinking about going to a city council meeting demanding that some of the $475 million budget of [City] PD be divested into community programs and mental health partnerships.” 
• “I’m reaching out to you because I’m a moderator of [a Facebook group]…In this time when the issues of social injustice against the black community are highlighted, people need a space and a way to talk about it [and]…since all of us [moderators and admins] are white or Persian, we feel it would be better to have advice from a black person who has some sort of expertise in these discussions…and I thought of you. Would you be willing to help us build and facilitate this thread?”

 
Someone else, a fellow workplace inclusion consultant, asked:
​

• “Are companies calling you in [for professional work]? “

Please continue to reach out—but farther, towards transformative action.

Can we agree that this is not my moment—for any reason entrepreneurial, color-related or otherwise? Or, yours?
 
Yet, now has seemed to be an opportune moment for capital and social enterprise to exploit. Below are samples of emails sent to my inbox this past week.

• “10% OFF For Supporting BLM”
• “To the Black members of our global community: We see you. We hear you. We stand with you.”
• “At [company name], we stand with everyone who wants their voice heard as we fight against racial injustice and police brutality.”
• “Recent events around the country have been difficult and emotional to see and experience, particularly for the Black community. Since the death of George Floyd…”
• “Our thoughts are with the black and brown lives lost to police brutality and to all those on the front lines fighting for black lives all over the world.”
• “We take this moment to reaffirm our purpose statement for our diversity, equity, and inclusion work…We therefore commit to deepen our collective understanding of the systemic impacts of bias and oppression at every level of our internal and external work, and to implement strategic practices that contribute to a truly loving world for all.”

Marketing messaged like the snippets above undoubtedly competes with sustained advocacy efforts on the part of organizations that have put in the work to institutionalize inclusion as a practice, and not defaulted to being quietly anti-racist. I reached out to the last organization quoted above to ask how it has practically committed to understanding “the systemic impacts of bias and oppression at every level of [their] internal and external work.” I am awaiting reply.
 
Folks, the moment cannot be solved; it is the fruit of seeds sown. Today does not stand in isolation; its roots are deep. To friends who have reached out since Mr. George Floyd was killed: Please continue to reach out—but farther, towards transformative action.
 
Be a friend to Truthfulness, Trustworthiness and Justice.

• Recognize that injustices are more than momentary, or external to you.
• Learn the nuances of earning confidence in your various relationships.
• Accompany your well wishes with the privileges accessible to you, and the will to act.

As good friends sometimes do, I’ll re-gift you with a message my big cousin recently gifted me. Speaking beyond dominant narratives, he demonstrated love by offering a new narrative: “Hey, I just wanted to let y’all know that I love y’all so much. With all this hate and negative out there, I wanted y’all to hear something different.”
 
Virtually yours,
Malii